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(he/they) Paul Paul Forster is a UK based inclusive leadership coach and lifelong renegade. He’s earned a reputation for celebrating and supporting marginalised leaders to make economic and social impacts on local, national and global stages. He’s supported 500+ leaders (from deep tech spin-outs to social justice orgs, via B2B SaaS solutions and hyper-local community projects) to define what success means for them and lead thriving teams. As a social entrepreneur he founded a queer event production collective, a publishing CIC platforming underrepresented writers, and is currently advocating for health technology innovators. Paul Forster Looking for a Guest Speake r ? Get in touch Our Recent Articles... UNLOCK Masterclass | Turning Change into Leadership Introducing: Queer Leadership Week UNLOCK | Queer Leadership 101 with Sandra Ljubinkovic. Create Space for Change. We work with 100+ Businesses, ERGs and Change-Leaders providing bespoke DEI solutions. Through consultancy we design shared learning experiences, produce insights and craft content that support individuals with strengthening their roles as change-agents within their communities and organisations. Discover our bespoke corporate solutions... Work with us

All our trainings, events and experiences are delivered by our global We Create Space Leadership Collective of mentors, facilitators, coaches and professional speakers. Our Collective. Team TOGETHER, WE INSPIRE CHANGE We're a global collective of 300+ community leaders and change-makers ; made up of trained DEI specialists, therapists, certified coaches, consultants, mental health professionals, activists, senior execs, legal experts, community builders, and corporate change-makers. Each have a unique talent and powerful story to tell. The rich diversity of our collective aims to represent the plethora of intersecting identities across the Queer community, allowing us to speak with authority into a wide range of topics and experiences . Check out our WCS 2025 Cultural Calendar for some inspiration as to how we could support you in the coming year. Looking for a Guest Speake r ? Get in touch Meet the Team Adam Lanfear Adi Sinha Ahmed Shihab-Eldin Ailish Breen Aisha Shaibu-Lenoir Aitch Farley Ajay Pabial Alberto Antón Benítez Ale Rebon Portillo Alex D'Sa Alex Dominguez Alex Howell Alex Leon Ali Hendry Allan Kartodikromo Amanda Walker Ambra Venturini Amir Yass Andre Johnsen Andrea Barberà Andrea Cortes Andrea Di Giovanni Andrea Knowles Andrew Chen Andrew Seedall Anick Soni Anthoniy Hristov Ariadne Ribeiro Ferreira Asha Harkness Ashley Marshall Ashtar Alahmad Audrey Mari Avi Ajwani Awo Dufie Bachul Koul Barbara Platier Barry Brandon Bekky Harrison Ben Pechey Betsy Reed Bex Wade Bobbi Pickard Brandi Andrews Brian McComak Burak Bilen CK Cairo Nevitt Calvin Stovell Carlos Idibouo Caroline Gansdorfer Char Bailey Char Erskine Charlie Craggs Chloe Cousins Chloe Filani Chloë Davies Chris Sheridan Christopher Kenna Christopher McDonnell Christopher Owen Cindy Nasenya Cindy Nehme Coco Coda Nicolaeff Cynthia Fortlage Cécile Deprez Damiana Ventura Dan Glass Daniel Pillai Darren Pritchard David Kam David McLaughlan David Nath Debra Griffith Dee Jas Dee Whitnell Denny Tu Devin O'Loughlin Devin Ozbagci Dhiren Doshi-Smith Diego Lazaro Don Dominic Doug Graffeo Drew Demetry Dylan Shimmon Ed Jervis Ed Moss Eduardo Gutierrez Eliseo Pares Jorda Elle Bower Johnston Elliot Theodor Emilia Astrom Emily Garside Emily Horton Emma Underwood Erdem Onel Erica Burton Erica Rose Ernest Owens Ese-Mena Uyovbukerhi Esteban Zamora Eva Echo Fabian Domenech Felix Mufti-Wright Freddie Lewis Gatonga Theuri Gayathiri Kamalakanthan Geffrye Parsons Gonzalo Parra Guilherme Neves Gurchaten Sandhu Gus Bussmann-Stuart Hadi Moussally Hannah Nishat Botero Hishaam Siddiqi Hunter McCance Iesha Palmer Ilā Kamalagharan Itzel Yagual JD Valladares-Williams Jack López Jacqui Rhule-Dagher Jade Fraser Jae Sloan James Bryant Jamie Lowe Jan Blinka Jani Toivola Jano San Jaron Soh Jasmine Khan Jason Kwan Jaï Bristow Jen Keawphaisan Jennifer Polzin Jess Brough Jim Fielding Jo Krishnakumar Joela-Abiona Rivera Jolinda Johnson Jon-Paul Vicari Jonny Benjamin Jono Cruz Jono Selvadurai Jordan Reeves Josephine Hughes Josh Rivers Joshua Cruz Jossy Jaycoff Angulo José Luis Espinosa Sales Jourdan Hussein Jua O'Kane Jude Guaitamacchi Judith Solanas Sánchez Kali Sudhra Kanndiss Riley Kari Serrano Karim El Oteify Kathryn Lum Katya Veleva Kayus Fernander Keri Blue Kevin Hawkins Khatoun Abdmasih Ki Griffin Kim Wunner Kirill Slobodianiuk Kodo Nishimura Kosta Karakashyan Lazarus Lynch Lee Mabey Lee Schoenmaker Lex Karageorghis Liam Rezende Lias Mauersberger Lily Zheng Lisa Cowling Lisa Marie Hall Loane Alonzeau Logal Kako Lolo Noble Lotus Smits Louise Beardsmore Luca Condosta Luca Magagni Lucia Blayke Lucifer Benedetti Luke Christian Luke Lopez Luke Manton Luke Thomas MK Getler-Porizkova Magda Stega Mahmoud Assy Manjinder Sidhu Manuel Schlothauer Marc Thompson Mariana Spada Marie-Helene Tyack Mark Travis Rivera Marley Conte Marthe Koster-Thomas Marty Davies Matthew Fuller Max Marchewicz Max Price Max Siegel Mayra Pastor Valdivia Mercedes Jenkins Michael Stephens Mike Rahilly Mitchell Davis Mufseen Miah Mus Alsaeid Nadu Placca Rodriguez Nancy Di Dia Natasha Getler-Porizkova Nats Sisma Neil Hudson-Basing Nick Kientsch Nicky Wake Nicole Simpson Nour Jarrouj Nourhan Sandouk Obella Obbo Ora Özer Paff Evara Paul Forster Paul Taylor-Pitt Paula Harrowing Paula Soli Pavlo Cherednychenko Phil Sanger Piotr Ciepiel Polo Lonergan Pritham Bhatia Prudence Dippah-Dina Rachel Padilla Radam Ridwan Raga D’Silva Rahim EL Habachi Rakshet Sachdev Raven Nielsen Reeta Loi Rico Jacob Chace River Coello River Solace Robert Suttle Roxy Murray Ruby Rare Ryan Lanji Ryan Zaman Saba Ali Sabah Choudrey Safir Boukhalfa Sakeema Peng Crook Sanjay Sharma Sanjukta Moorthy Santi Sorrenti Santo Tripodi Sara Alvarez Sara Táboas Sarah Massey Saski Saul James Scott Sallée Sebastián Dalla Ba Sergi Alberola Sevi Koppe Sharon Ehrlich Shawn Aaron Shimar Guyo Shiva Raichandani Simi Wang Somar Ibrahim Sophia Emmerich Sophie Edwards Sophie Strachan Stef Tudorascu Steph Matthews Stephen Hart Stewart O'Callaghan Sunni Patel Suresh Ramdas Suzy McCafferty Tadhg Mac Mahon Tanvir Ali Taofique Folarin Tash Koster-Thomas Tashan Nicholas Tatum Karmen Swithenbank Taylor Lianne Chandler Taz Rasul Temi Ayorinde Teodor Cesljarov Teresa Lee Thea Bardot Thokozani Mbwana Tolu Osinubi Trish Boston Ty Jernstedt Uz Afzal Valentín Aseyo Vaneet Mehta Vijay Chohan Xesca Alabart Lopez Yasmin Benoit Yassine Senghor Yeison Forero Yujx Smith Zach Ames Zacha Belok Zee Monteiro WANT TO JOIN THE TEAM? 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(she/her) Erica Erica brings over 30 years of experience in global operations, including 20 years in senior leadership roles. She is a passionate advocate of inclusive, empathetic leadership, believing that it’s central to great culture and business success. She is dedicated to supporting the development of leaders who inspire, support, and empower others to thrive. As a skilled change manager, she has delivered transformation programmes while maintaining strong employee and stakeholder engagement. Today, Erica combines her leadership experience with her passion for equity, diversity, inclusion and belonging (EDIB) as Director of Consulting & Education for TalentMapper, delivering high-quality leadership development and inclusive talent management and EDIB consultancy and education. Erica Rose Looking for a Guest Speake r ? Get in touch Our Recent Articles... Queer Journeys | Cora Hamilton. AI Won’t Save Your Company Culture, Upskilling Your People Will. WCS x Amazon: Celebrating Community & Elevating Impact. Create Space for Change. We work with 100+ Businesses, ERGs and Change-Leaders providing bespoke DEI solutions. Through consultancy we design shared learning experiences, produce insights and craft content that support individuals with strengthening their roles as change-agents within their communities and organisations. Discover our bespoke corporate solutions... Work with us

Looking back and reflecting on the projects, events, achievements and community impact that we've had over the course of the last year as a team, collective, and organisation. 2025 marked a key milestone for We Create Space. As we celebrated five years of building inclusive learning spaces, we also laid important foundations for our future as a global hub for talent development, leadership, and community building across our global ecosystem. At the start of the year, we launched our 2025 Community Action Plan , informed by insights from our 2024/25 Community Survey and shaped by the evolving needs of our global network. As a proud social enterprise, our commitment remains to reinvesting profits into free resources, events, and growth opportunities for our community. This report reflects on the progress we’ve made, not only what we delivered, but how those actions strengthened our learning pathways, expanded access, and supported visionary leaders to thrive. 1) We introduced New Learning Pathways for Talent Development. Inclusion | Wellbeing | Leadership In 2025, we redesigned our entire community engagement strategy around three clear learning pathways, each providing structure, guidance, and progression for professionals at every stage of their journey. We integrated these pathways across all events, retreats, online learning, and content. “WCS gave me the confidence to be more vocal about all aspects of my identity, leading to more authentic leadership and advocacy work.” - Sebastian Dalla Ba “WCS has given me the chance to collaborate with like-minded people, exchange ideas, and be part of impactful conversations.” - Cindy Nasenya 2) We shared our Data-Driven Inclusion Insights through WCS | Reports. Building on our DEI Insights and Trends 2025 Report , we continued our commitment to data-driven learning by expanding our research, trend reporting and insight generation to support leaders with creating more inclusive workplaces for diverse talent. Key Impact Highlights: Published 4 new DEI Trend reports focused on Practitioner Wellbeing and Career Sustainability , Leadership Engagement , Tech and Innovation and Global & Local Strategies . Produced a business case for investing in talent development and up-skilling your people. Created a DEI Communications Toolkit 2025 for corporate DEI leaders and internal inclusion advocates with hundreds of downloads.  Strengthened our reputation as a trusted source of intersectional, queer-led insight for organisations. Hosted 2 webinars/events unpacking findings with community and corporate partners. “It felt very reassuring to be in the space with others and honestly discuss some of the narrative and discourse around EDI at the moment.” -   Attendee Feedback from Feb 13 2025 DEI Insights & Trends Event.  3. We Strengthened Professional Networks Through Community Activations. Our community events continued to be a powerful tool for professional and social connection. 2025 saw us experiment with new event formats, tools and interactive methods, both online and in person. Key Impact Highlights: Hosted 74 community events. Connected 2,000+ professionals while centering safety, belonging and intersectionality. Partnered with 8 grassroots organisations to support visibility. Event strands delivered this year: Queer Women in Business Global Speed Networking  WCS x DEI Leaders Roundtables A Space for Dialogue (new series themes) Community Building 101 Queer Leadership 101 Queer Leader Awardee Speed Networking WCS Leadership Collective Speed Networking “Being part of the WCS community and then later becoming a Board member has been incredibly meaningful. It’s given me a space to connect with other leaders, exchange ideas, and amplify my work.” -   Kevin Hawkins 4. Our Retreat Programming focused on LGBTQ+ Leadership and Wellbeing. This year we rebuilt our retreat model from the ground up with an emphasis on rest, leadership, community, and sustainable wellbeing practices. “The retreat has been a beautiful space to come back to learning new skills to self-regulate... Communal care is so important.” -   Jaron Soh Key Impact Highlights: Relaunched Queer Retreats in Barcelona with 6 key themes. Continued hikes and introduced urban mini-retreats as entry points. Strengthened the wellbeing pillar of our talent development strategy. “The retreat really shifted my perspective. I found a safe space in the community and that has meant a lot for me” -   Teresa Lee 5. WCS | Awards became a Global Celebration of Inclusive Leadership. This year, we took the Awards international, recognising LGBTQ+ leaders who are actively building inclusive cultures and communities around the world. What began as a regional initiative has now grown into a truly global celebration, honouring queer individuals and organisations whose work is shaping more equitable futures. “What inspires me most as Awards Director is witnessing the determination of Queer Leaders and organisations who persist in building inclusive spaces, even when the world pushes back. Their leadership is a testament to what collective courage can achieve. It drives me to deepen my advocacy, elevate our mission and honour the extraordinary impact they make every day.” -   Sevi Koppe, WCS Awards Director Key Impact Highlights: Honoured 101 LGBTQ+ individuals and 5 LGBTQ+ organisations across 6 award categories, 21 countries and 5 continents, reflecting the global scale of queer leadership today. Inaugural Honorary Award, presented to Lady Phyll, founder of UK Black Pride. Partnered with 6 organisations, expanding our international network and community reach. Engaged 40 volunteers through the WCS Give Back Programme, supporting global operations and community-building efforts, all year-round. Hosted both online and in-person ceremonies , ensuring accessibility and participation across time zones and geographies. Established the Awards as a core pathway for leadership development, visibility, and community contribution, launching the 12-month Queer Leader Journey as a structured programme for continued growth and engagement. “The WCS Awards provided a much needed space to amplify and uplift the work of people who too often go uncelebrated. It was amazing to connect with so many visionary leaders from across the globe.”  -   Jua O'Kane 6. We Launched WCS | España to Strengthen Local and EU Connections. 2025 marked the official launch of our non-profit association in Spain, expanding our grassroots impact and deepening our work in Barcelona, and across Europe. Key Impact Highlights: Secured 10 partnerships with Spanish organisations, NGOs and community groups, expanding our collaborative capacity and local presence. Welcomed 4 interns focused on training, development and international exchange, contributing to network expansion, improved community experience and the development of new educational programmes. Strengthened regional connections by creating and engaging with a database of over 700 organisations across Europe, fostering opportunities for cross-border collaboration. Delivered 19 local events and initiatives centred on inclusion, wellbeing and community-building for LGBTQ+ people and allies. Opened access to new funding streams, enabling the development of community-led projects and increasing our long-term sustainability within Spain and the EU. “With WCS España, we are strengthening our presence in Europe and creating new pathways for leadership development, inclusion and cross-border collaboration. This launch opens access to EU partnerships, funding opportunities and long-term alliances that will amplify our mission across the region.”  - Sevi Koppe, Director, WCS España 7. UNLOCK Became our Global Platform and Network for Visionary Leadership. UNLOCK evolved into a dedicated home for leadership, mentorship and professional development acting as the bridge between community learning and advanced talent pathways. Key Impact Highlights: Hosted Season 1 of the leadership podcast with 10 episodes . Launched 4 new leadership masterclasses and programmes designed around the 5 Keys Framework to support accessible, practical and embodied skill development. Developed new digital resources preparing queer leaders for 2026 and beyond, including templates, exercises, skill-building modules and leadership guides. “If we don’t have women, queer people, Black people, all kinds of different people at a diverse table, we’re still going to be tailoring products, services, processes and systems that only tend to the needs of a few and not everyone.”  - Letícia Ange Pozza 8. WCS | Campus and WCS | Courses Grew as a Global Community Learning Hub. Our digital space continued to bring people together across borders, fostering connection and accessible learning. Key Impact Highlights: Reached 2,504 members on Campus. 1,142 people took our free LGBTQ+ Inclusion 101 Course. Integrated our new learning pathways into the platform structure. “The explanations in each lesson are the most thorough I have encountered yet. The supplemental videos from external queer voices are outstanding resources to keep coming back to. Thank you for making this course available!” - Feedback from LGBTQ+ Inclusion Course Participant  9. Our Resource Library Supported Continuous Personal Learning and Growth. The library remained a trusted archive for knowledge, resources, and insights. Our content continued to centre under-represented voices, lived experiences and personal storytelling, tools we believe are foundational for building inclusive communities. Key Impact Highlights: Added 100+ new resources and toolkits. Expanded sections on wellbeing, intersectionality and leadership. Integrated curated pathways aligned with 2026 talent development priorities. “I’m grateful to We Create Space for interviewing me when all others fell silent, I felt visible, heard and valued at a time when being a trans ally mattered most. WCS shifted the narrative and reminded me in a climate where silence becomes erasure, being heard affirms existence, protects truth, and lights the way for others.” -  Saba Ali “We Create Space did just that: they created space for us to be heard, during a time when media organisations were focusing on the wrong things. Given the political and judicial events that have negatively impacted the trans+ community this year, allowing us a platform and a voice showed the wider community that hope exists, and that it’s all around us if we make time to listen to one another.” - Eva Echo  10. We Continued Reinvesting in our Community Through Paid Partnerships. As a social enterprise, this remains one of our core impact areas. From inclusion enablement services, leadership development, toolkit creation, team learning experiences like panel discussions, to executive coaching, we’ve supported businesses of all sizes and industries who are values aligned with We Create Space.  Key Impact Highlights: Created 200+ paid opportunities for members of our global collective  Increased our lifetime reinvestment to £1.5m+. Worked with over 45 corporate and community partners to deliver impactful, inclusive activation. "We Create Space has been an invaluable resource to Omnicom Group and has provided thoughtful and powerful insight to programming across our global network.” - David Azulay Looking Ahead to 2026: Building a Global Talent Development Ecosystem. “Our mandate for this next chapter is clear: elevating inclusion from something teams talk about into something the business can rely on to upskill, grow, and retain talent. Our work will focus on the systems, leadership skills, and everyday behaviours that help people grow in their careers, because when people development is prioritised, organisational performance skyrockets.” - Jon-Paul Vicari, WCS Managing Director  In 2026, our work will focus on expanding our Talent Development Framework. This year laid the foundation: clearer pathways, infrastructure, community, insights, and partnerships. Next year, we will deepen the learning journeys for leaders across all levels with measurable outcomes and impact for individuals, communities, and organisations. Creating Space is more than just our philosophy, it’s an ecosystem intentionally designed where everyone has the opportunity to grow, heal, lead and thrive. Thank you for being on this journey with us for the last 5 years and we’re excited to take these next steps together.  While you're here... Did you know we consult with Businesses, ERGs and Change-Leaders providing bespoke corporate solutions? Through consultancy we design shared learning experiences, produce DEI insights and craft bespoke content that support individuals with strengthening their roles as change-agents within their communities and organisations. Find out more here . We also organise FREE community events throughout the year! We offer a variety of ways to get involved - both online and in person. This is a great way to network and learn more about others' experiences, through in-depth discussion on an array of topics. You can find out what events we have coming up here . New ones are added all the time, so make sure you sign up to our newsletter so you can stay up to date!

Queer, disabled and navigating intimate relationships. Any intimate relationship can be complicated. And being in an intimate relationship as a queer person often presents additional, nuanced challenges and considerations. This becomes even more complex when we introduce the topic of disability into our thoughts around relationships too. In celebration of Disability Pride Month as we explore identities and stories at the intersection of queerness and disability with added depth, Tatum Swithenbank , who has Muscular Dystrophy and Ryan Zaman , who has Cerebral Palsy, reflect on their lived experiences of being queer and disabled in the context of navigating a relationship - and how the dynamic between a disabled partner and a non-disabled partner can sometimes be different than a more conventional queer relationship. It is important to note that this topic is something that neither Tatum nor Ryan have spoken about publicly before, and have never really heard of anyone else talking about either. With this in mind, they hope their insight not only helps others gain a better understanding of this intersection, but that their stories can also resonate with others who share similar circumstances and lived experiences. NB : the term disability can be interchanged with neurodivergence/long-term health condition in this context NB : every situation/relationship is different, and we don’t have a defined answer for everything - please use the content of this article as prompts to consider how things may apply to you/your relationship/your partner(s). Bust the common misconception that disabled people are inherently non-sexual. “As a disabled person, I definitely feel there’s a societal view that disabled people are less sexual than non-disabled people. As a result, a lot of my internalised thinking around sex and relationships growing up was undoubtedly influenced by this perception. This, coupled with the internalised homophobia before coming out, was a cause of a lot of emotion when I was a teenager.” - Ryan “Society’s views of marginalised communities, especially the disabled community, has a massive effect on how we view ourselves. Through constant implications we see in our everyday lives, we are taught that disabled people are worth less , and therefore not as worthy of love.” - Tatum While we all know this view exists, we must consider where it comes from, and what we can do to combat it (not just disabled people, allies too): > Physical ability and appearance has always been at the core of how we view relationships, sex and their viability, since the very beginning of humankind, as we can see with the school of thought around ‘Survival of the Fittest.’ This is only intensified in the technology-led world we live in, and the demand for fast connection through the use of dating apps etc. that is based overwhelmingly on appearance and physicality. For non-disabled people out there: How do we combat this view? > Whilst some people might not be able to do some things the same way (for example, be physically intimate), it doesn’t mean that they don’t want to do them at all. Disabled people are very self-aware, and some of the most adaptive people out there. They problem-solve everyday, navigating a world that is not designed with them in mind. Therefore, if they want to do something, they will find a way (perhaps with the help of others). > The best way to combat the perception that disabled people are not sexual/less worthy of love, ask yourself: ‘If I was disabled, how would I like to be treated?’ The answer is: ‘With the same respect as everyone else!’ Our Leaders also wanted to add, not everything has to be about a deeper connection: disabled people can look for more casual relationships, too. When looking at the people that make up the We Create Space Queer Leadership Collective , a considerable number of people are disabled and/or neurodiverse - a nod to the fact that more than a third of the queer community are disabled - a significantly higher percentage than the straight community (around 22 percent). Recent studies have also found that between 70-80 percent of neurodiverse people identify as part of the queer community. This highlights that discussion on relationships is especially important, as part of the wider conversation on inclusion and accessibility within queer spaces. It takes a lot for disabled people to open their heart up to someone in order to start a relationship. Just like everyone else, disabled people make a lot of their decisions when making new connections based on past experience. The strong prevalence of ableist attitudes in our spaces quite often means that disabled people experience a negative reaction if they choose to disclose their disability to someone they are interested in getting to know intimately. “Because of my bad experiences, I always feel like I’m waiting for someone to let me down, and that stops me from opening up. In the past, I often hesitated to tell people because I didn't want them to make assumptions. My disability is a massive part of my life, and will continue to be, as I have a progressive disease - but I had a fear that’s all people would think about when they saw me. Now, at the age of 29, I don’t have time to hide any aspects of my person. But I am careful about how I communicate with people and picking my moment when I’m getting to know someone new. It’s hard to find that moment though, because society tells us not to give people with disabilities a chance - it takes a lot to open yourself up like that - it never gets easier.” - Tatum “Before I was in a long-term relationship, that fear of rejection from others because of my disability was very real for me. I’m sure a lot of people can relate to that, but the feeling was really strong for me. When I was younger, for the longest time, along with questioning my worthiness of a relationship, this was definitely something that stopped me pursuing any romantic connections at all.” - Ryan One of the most significant obstacles for disabled people is getting to the point where you can freely accept help when you know you need it, and it takes a long time to get to that place: “Even now we probably don’t do it 100% of the time when we probably should. Showing your vulnerabilities is a very hard thing to do for anyone, especially if you don’t know a person that well yet.” - Ryan Reframing mindsets: Disabled partners have as much to ‘give’ to a relationship as non-disabled partners. Again, because of ableist views, and the common depictions of disabled people in mainstream media, a lot of the narrative we see around disability and relationships (and disability in general) is centred around the idea that people with disabilities need a ‘caregiver.’ Of course, this can be the case for some people, however as everything exists on a spectrum, it’s not a case of ‘one size fits all’. Having the mindset that everyone with a disability encounters the same struggles out there can be damaging. There are so many different types of disability, and even when you focus on one condition, people’s experience and how they are affected varies massively. “I have worked so hard on taming my internalised ableism* to tell myself I am worthy of love. Just because I can’t do some things doesn’t mean I don’t contribute to a relationship in other ways. I think we need to move away from this preconception that it is really hard for a non-disabled partner in an inter-able relationship, and they carry a heavier burden - there’s difficulty for everyone involved, just in different ways. If we imagine a relationship as like the sky: sometimes it is clear and sunny - other times there can be a rainstorm. Deep, romantic psychological and sexual connections are complicated and ever-changing.” - Tatum *you can find a definition in our article on 'Helping our disabled friends feel seen, heard and supported' Disabled partners can teach non-disabled partners (and people outside of their relationship) so much over and above simple physical chemistry. Some examples of this are: > How to slow down (both in a physical sense such as when walking, but also in terms of more considered decision-making and forward planning). > The power of empathy in the everyday, and how this facilitates deeper connection. “As disabled people we know what it’s like not to be listened to, so we don’t want to put anyone else through that. In turn, we are great at showing others how to truly be a good listener, be compassionate, and holding space - just as we would like others to do for us.” - Tatum “Pulling your ‘weight’ looks different for each partner and a sense of equality could look different - just because one person does more things around the house, the other could show up differently, by arranging exciting activities etc. This is especially the case when a relationship is more established and you fall into a comfortable rhythm. This is when partners should use their intuition to tell what the other person needs.” - Ryan What are the qualities disabled people look for in their partners? The qualities disabled people might look for in potential partners can be considered as quite similar to what everyone looks for in relationships in general. From a disability perspective though, there is often emphasis on emotional intelligence as a first priority: > A partner who understands the emotional significance of a disabled person being able to open up, when society tells them to keep their struggles to themselves. > "When you have a disability it’s like a full time job - fighting for your rights, paperwork to get support, medical appointments - I need a partner who understands that sometimes I won't have the capacity to spend as much time with them as I want.” - Tatum > A partner who offers the same grace and space that is offered to them. For example, when a disabled partner is in pain, they might snap: “What we need is someone to say, it’s ‘OK, it’s fine - I won’t take it to heart, let’s take a breather.’” - Tatum > A partner who understands that the help goes both ways: “My partners in the past may have helped me carry my bags when I’m on my feet, but when I’m using my wheelchair and we’d go to the supermarket, we put all the bags on my chair, and they sit on my lap and get a ride in the chair if they’re tired.” - Tatum ‘Buffers’: How disabled people can protect their emotional capital when making new romantic connections - especially when using dating apps (we’re sure lots of non-disabled people do this too!). Everyone has different signifiers they use to determine their compatibility with a potential new partner. This could be something as simple as paying attention to how someone treats a waiter, or similarities/differences in political views. First impressions mean a lot and help determine whether we want to open up further to another person. Disabled people consider this when thinking about whether they feel comfortable disclosing their disability (if it’s not immediately visible), or if they want to discuss it further. “I don’t know why, but when you’re dating, especially for men, there’s a weird preoccupation with height - maybe it goes back to all of the physical aspects we’ve talked about. But, I would be open about my height (or lack of it). For people who were not OK with that, it meant I already knew that they probably wouldn’t be that accepting of my disability - something else that’s out of my control. This technique probably saved me a lot of hurt as I didn’t open up to many people who had a negative reaction. Even so, I was dating my boyfriend for a month before I told him about my disability. I also think that it’s worth mentioning for people out there that being short and having a disability doesn’t make me any less of a man.” - Ryan “I always use pictures where you can see my body hair. If someone isn’t into that, they can go ahead and swipe left. I rarely use dating apps - because of the areas that I work in I am privileged enough to be able to make a lot of new connections in-person - but if I do use dating apps, I use a picture of me holding my walking stick, and mention I work in accessibility and inclusion so people can perhaps come to their own conclusion that I have a disability. This way, if I do meet with them, hopefully they have an interest in that too. Yes, it makes them a better ally from the beginning, but you would hope that there would be more of an awareness and understanding from day one.” - Tatum “One of the best ways I would judge how viable a relationship would be or not was to pay attention to how someone I was dating would react if ableist behaviour pointed towards me in public. As disabled people, we are very strong at advocating for ourselves and trusting our judgement when we don’t feel something is right. We’re probably more self-aware than most other people. I also think we can apply this to how we conduct ourselves in our intimate relationships, too - to know when something isn’t how it should be and to be confident in our decision-making process as a result, whether this be breaking up with someone, or encouraging a reframing of boundaries within a relationship.” - Ryan How can non-disabled people show up for their disabled partners? When we are in relationships with a partner, a grand gesture every now and then can be great, but it is often the small things that mean the most. Learning about the little things that can really help your partner (if you are disabled or not) will make a relationship stronger and more meaningful. > Whether it’s paying more attention to the kinds of things to do on dates or the tasks you choose to do around the house, non disabled partners can make a massive difference to a disabled partner’s day to day through small choices/changes. A collaborative approach to things which considers abilities more mindfully is also a win-win! E.g.: “When me and my partner are doing laundry, I’m not that great at standing up and bending down for long periods of time, so I tend to load and unload the machine and hang it up to dry, but he will fold everything and put it away.” - Ryan > “[As a disabled person,] I’m not looking for pity, I’m not looking to be someone’s inspiration - all I’m looking for is some simple acknowledgement that some things are different for me - it doesn’t have to be a big thing. Normalisation is key.” - Tatum > Understand there is nothing sinister around someone cancelling plans if their capacity is limited. > Understand that a disabled partner may experience internalised ableism: “On bad days internalised ableism can overpower my headspace - this can make me think negatively (however non-valid) about if I am a burden on my partner/family. This is where small verbal reassurances are really the most important in a relationship, and understanding the role internalised ableism, either on a simple or more complex level, can play in the thought process of someone with a disability.” - Ryan How do their queerness/disabled identities interact differently with one another depending on who a disabled person is dating/spending time with? “ When I’m dating a cis man, I have these very deep-rooted expectations of how I should behave. I don’t abide my gender norms, and I think this is why my relationships with cis men have fallen apart because they struggle with the fact that I dont live in these binaries. When I’m with queer people, all of those expectations already don’t really apply.” - Tatum “ My attachment to prescribed gender roles have been stronger when I have dated cis-women. What that means for my disability is that I have noticed I am less willing to accept help from a woman (as that’s not “manly” to do). I know this is bad, but everyone is influenced by what society tells us to think. In my relationship with my boyfriend I am a lot more willing to accept help.” - Ryan Communication is key: Tips for those in inter-able relationships. ”One of the biggest causes of a relationship breaking down - no matter who you are - is lack of communication. I mean, we’re always learning and no-one’s perfect. But there’s something about being disabled (or being in a relationship with a disabled person): you’ve got to be forthcoming about your needs. You have to be radical in your communication and I think that’s a gift.” - Tatum When you are new to a relationship > If you want to know more details after someone has disclosed their disability to you, DON’T GOOGLE IT. They know themselves best. > If you would like to know more you could always send them a message a few days later - gives people room to reply in their own time. Ask out of interest without intrusion - give them a reason and say "I care about you and I want to know how best to support you." > Be patient - building a meaningful connection takes time - you don’t have to know everything straight away. > It is important to have a common understanding that severity of physical symptoms and state of mind are very interlinked. > Allow your partner to fully voice their feelings without interrupting or interjecting, even if they're saying something that is difficult to hear. > All partners need to recognise their privilege in different areas. > Acknowledge the difference between sympathy and empathy. > [For non-disabled partners] It’s good to understand external factors have a lot more of an influence on the mood/capacity of someone who is disabled/neurodivergent, so it’s always worth planning ahead where possible. Use The Spoon Theory to talk to your partner about fluctuating energy levels/capacity. When a relationship is perhaps more established > All partners need the emotional intelligence of knowing when to pick up a conversation about something, but also knowing when to drop it. > Nonverbal communication for support is key (if you’re a survivor or if you have a disability - someone could be non-verbal if they are neurodivergent for example) - not everything has to be spoken or heard. There is a lot of power in simply giving someone a look or a nod. > When you or your partner is stressed or struggling with pressure, understand the importance of framing things as ‘support or solution?’ - check-ins are important to see what that person needs. Sometimes people just want a hug (i.e. support), and need a second to process before they start thinking about what comes next (i.e. a solution). > [If you are a non-disabled partner] you need to intuitively switch between supporting someone where they need help, and just simply being their partner. Don’t lose sight of what should be at the core of your relationship, which is love and chemistry - if you lose sight of that, then that isn’t good for your relationship in the long run. So what does all of this mean? The most poignant discovery as a result of these conversations, is that most discussion, whilst centred around queerness and disability, are actually applicable to any relationship - no matter who you or your partner might be. If we see disability as a ‘layer,’ you could replace it with another element such as ‘long-distance;’ ‘difference in financial status between partners’ or ‘polyamory,’ for example. This shows that while we might have different life experiences, we are all human, and more similar than we might think at first glance…

Learn how to adapt and thrive through transition periods in our latest masterclass. Change is inevitable, but transformation is intentional. In this masterclass, Daniel (UNLOCK Queer Leadership Network) shares how every transition in life: moving to a new city, starting a new job, shifting careers, or letting go of an old chapter — can become a powerful catalyst for leadership. Whether you're navigating uncertainty, reinventing yourself, or stepping into a new version of who you want to be, this session gives you tools to adapt, align, and grow with purpose. What you’ll learn in this masterclass: ✔ How to recognise the emotional stages of transition ✔ What alignment really means in leadership ✔ How to turn uncertainty into clarity ✔ How to build confidence when everything around you changes ✔ Why queer leadership has unique wisdom for transitions ✔ Practical tools to ground yourself and lead from authenticity This session is part of UNLOCK, a global initiative empowering the next generation of values-driven leaders. No matter your background or identity, this masterclass shows how change can become the doorway to your next breakthrough. If you would like to discuss booking one of these speakers for your own session, please get in touch with us via email at hello@wecreatespace.co While you're here... Did you know we consult with Businesses, ERGs and Change-Leaders providing bespoke corporate solutions? Through consultancy we design shared learning experiences, produce DEI insights and craft bespoke content that support individuals with strengthening their roles as change-agents within their communities and organisations. Find out more here . We also organise FREE community events throughout the year! We offer a variety of ways to get involved - both online and in person. This is a great way to network and learn more about others' experiences, through in-depth discussion on an array of topics. You can find out what events we have coming up here . New ones are added all the time, so make sure you sign up to our newsletter  so you can stay up to date!