UNLOCK Book Club | Do You Believe in Life After Loss? by Andrew Flewitt.

Author Andrew Flewitt shares the creative process behind his debut book, with a review from Neil Hudson-Basing.

Have you ever considered writing a book to share your voice, expertise & passion with the world? If the answer is yes, the UNLOCK Book Club is for YOU!

Our network of experienced queer authors - leaders in their fields & spaces - are here to share their journeys, bring tough topics into every-day conversations and provide you with tips & guidance to help make your publishing dream a reality.

During our most recent instalment of the UNLOCK Book Club, host Neil Hudson-Basing was joined by podcaster, writer and author Andrew Flewitt to discuss his new book 'Do you Believe in Life After Loss? Queer Stories of Loss, Hope and Resilience'. This collection of queer experiences of loss, hope and resilience explores different aspects of loss, the challenges of these situations, but also how queerness might help people to navigate change and loss and the opportunities and hope that can arise when healing begins.

Catch up with the full recording of this session to hear Andrew and Neil discuss:

- experiences of loss in all its forms from bereavement and relationship breakups to loss of community, safety and identity

- how queerness might help people to navigate change and loss

- and that all important question: do you believe in life after loss?

We asked Andrew to share his take-aways with us after the session:

Last week I was fortunate to have an online book launch with Unlock Book Club, powered by We Create Space. I’m so happy that I got to have such an intimate and thought-provoking conversation about loss, and my new book - Do you Believe in Life After Loss? Queer Stories of Loss, Hope and Resilience. Loss and grief can be incredibly difficult to deal with – there is never a right time, but this event showed me once again that there is an appetite for conversation to happen, and I feel that it’s as important as ever. What I’ve found at times when I’ve been dealing with loss and my own grief, is that people can be supportive to a point, but after a while are ready to move on and stop talking about it. Sometimes they don’t know what to say, and sometimes they want to talk about something fun or lighter because what they are faced with feels a little bleak. Going through loss? My advice for anyone going through something now, or are in the process of healing from a past event, is to find your people – the ones that are happy to listen, put an arm around you when you need it, and are open for the conversation to continue, for as long as it needs to. Grief is not linear, and there is no fixed way for processing it - it comes up when you least expect it and what I’ve found is that it’s always there. We may heal and find strategies to move forward when the time is right, but those feelings can be triggered at any time, and it’s in those moments when your support network is really important. I’ve also found that sometimes when grief is triggered it isn’t a negative thing. Music for me evokes memories, takes me right back to the people I have loved and lost, and in that moment, I can feel connection and comfort – this is something that has changed over time, and through healing. Workplace support In my professional capacity as an HR Business Partner, I often think of how the workplace needs to be a hub of support for an individual going through loss, because so much of our time is spent at the workplace – physically or virtually. Lots of companies provide access to Employee Support Services or provide Private Medical Insurance which enables an employee to get support, and the costs are covered, but I am sure there are many organisations that because of their size or financial pressures are not able to offer these services. This means that their employees dealing with grief and loss stand less chance of getting the right level of support they need, to enable them to carry on working, but more importantly, process their feelings which no doubt will assist in supporting their mental health and wellbeing. This once again highlights the importance of finding a good support network, whether it be friendship or support groups, seeking professional support if you’re able, or attending talks and events via companies like WCS and the one we had last week; sometimes we just need to hear that we are not alone, that other people are going through something, or have gone through something, and this can be all the comfort we need. Loss is inevitable so let’s keep talking about it I truly believe we need to keep having open and brave conversations about loss – we have been or will be impacted by loss throughout our lives. Keeping the conversation going doesn’t mean we will be less impacted, or it will be less painful when it happens, but we might be better prepared, able to ask for help with we recognise the signs and be there for others when they need us too.

Neil’s thoughts on ‘Do you Believe in Life After Loss? Queer Stories of Loss, Hope and Resilience.’

Having read Andrew’s brilliant debut book just in time for this conversation (one of many I’ve had the privilege of having with him), it really got me thinking about my own experiences of loss - some that I’ve never properly dealt with. I’ve just shrugged it off. And that I’ve never really given anyone the chance to listen & understand, especially when it comes to ways they have changed & shaped me. Each of the stories featured in the book highlight very unique & varying examples of loss yet what stood out to me is that there were elements of each individual’s chapter that deeply resonated with me. Be that an emotion, perspective or reaction. Loss is universal and whilst the circumstances around it differ from person to person, our processing, understanding & moving on often hold many commonalities.  It’s packed with strength, bravery & vulnerability. From each interviewee & Andrew himself whose own experience, insights & vulnerability around loss & all that follows holds the book together with such compassion. It also got me thinking about how my queerness has made me much more resilient over the years and influenced the way I handle loss. The need to push through challenging times. The fight to help create a better world. The determination to find a spark of joy for myself or others when things get dark. The loss & grief I’ve experienced have informed how I show up in the world. As the pages point out, not necessarily in good or bad ways. Just in… ways. Andrew’s thought provoking & exceptional work - from the book to the follow-up series of his podcast Queer I Am featuring those interviewed throughout - tells the reader, or listener, that that’s ok.  It’s not all doom & gloom. It’s life-affirming with a warm reassurance that’s needed when it comes to navigating life after loss. With a bold cover to boot! I’d definitely recommend reading and taking time to answer, for yourself, that all important question: ‘Do You Believe in Life After Loss?’

If you would like to discuss booking one of these speakers for your own session, please get in touch with us via email at hello@wecreatespace.co

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