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Ajay Pabial is a London-based queer artist of South-Asian heritage on a mission to shine the light on creatives from culturally diverse backgrounds and LGBT+ intersections. He recently joined one of our 'Who am i?' virtual retreats, and has kindly agreed to share his experience. Who are you? My name is Ajay, I’m what you call a multi-hyphenate who’s constantly spinning several plates. I’m an artist, Managing Director and Cultural Strategist! When I’m not developing my artistic practise as a portrait painter, you can find me delivering culture-led programmes and activities across London. I founded my own not-for-profit Arts Organisation in 2018 – Art Clubbers CIC - to support under-represented young Londoners with accessing the creative sector, as well as consulting businesses to embed diversity and inclusion at the core of its activities. How did you find yourself doing what you are doing? After graduating from university in 2016 with a BA in Fine Art, I found myself hitting a brick wall when trying to find work within the sector. I discovered that in fact many art graduates were left navigating the sector on their own. It was clear that we needed to start equipping graduates with employability skills and tools to establish themselves as artists, designers and makers – artpreneurs! In 2018, I set up Art Clubbers CIC, a not-for-profit Arts Organisation. I wanted it to act as stepping stone into the industry, providing opportunities and support to allow young Creative's the chance to develop and build their skills, as well as put in to practice their talents by taking part in community focused activities and projects. What have you learnt along the way? Honestly there’s some many things I could list here it would be endless! The one thing I’ve learnt over the last two years is to always just go for it. When it comes to my career, I never thought i would have been running a company at 24 years old. I’m glad I went for it now, I’ve loved all the work I’ve done, the people I’ve met, and I'm thankful for the experience. It’s allowed to me mature at a pace I wouldn’t have otherwise. Personally, I’ve learnt how much I held myself back whilst in the closet. Since coming out, I’ve regained a sense of self pride, and that really shows. Friends and family around me have seen me grow into a much happier place. Finding my voice was so important. I know this can be easier said than done, but trust the people around you. Give them a chance and give yourself a change. I’ve been surprised to see such beautiful support around me. Why did you get involved in the ‘Who am i?’ programme? I finally came to terms with my sexuality as a gay man in 2018, at that time I had little knowledge of the LGBTQ+ community, what it meant to be part of it but more importantly where do I fit in. Coming out felt like the clocks got reversed, and I could now 're-live' my younger self authentically. However, looking back I really didn’t know what authentic meant for me. In 2020, I found myself reflecting more and more on my journey, questioning who I am as an individual, how or does my sexuality define that. The 'Who Am I' programme allowed me to explore those questions. For me the biggest eye-opener about coming on such a programme was that I was connecting with other gay men who I wouldn’t necessarily have met through my normal channels and that despite being who they were, what backgrounds they came from we felt the same! It was comforting just knowing that there were others on the same journey I was on, and that I wasn't an anomaly. Defining my identity is a life process. Did you make any changes off the back of the retreat? The programme allowed me to learn about what it means to be present. As someone who is constantly spinning multiple plates, it’s always been rare for me to stop and savour the moment, to appreciate and acknowledge the work I’m doing. Since the programme I’ve learnt to become more present within the moment, this has been from small acts as leaving my phone in another room whilst I spend time with family to taking to listening to what my body needs and giving it just that whether, a proper meal or sleep. I’ve made it a goal to celebrate every milestone. 2020 for me was all about emotional, mental and physical change. What relationship do you have to the LGBTQ+ community? I identify as a gay South Asian man. Having worked within the creative sector and witnessing the barriers those from minority backgrounds, I made it a personal mission to shine a light on individuals from culturally diverse and LGBT intersections to ensure visibility and community within the creative sector. My situation is current, and a journey that I've only been on for the last two years. A Capricorn by birth, my natural behaviour is very process driven. I’m a minority within a minority and sometimes it’s quite hard to talk about my experiences as I navigate through my own queerness, my faith and culture. My relationship with the community is finding where I fit in the most, when you find individuals or groups who you complete relate to and have faced or are facing similar life experiences, empathy comes naturally in circumstances like this, relate-ability becomes encouragement and creativity becomes ambition. What’s the biggest challenge you’re working through? I want to continue to challenge every aspect within me, my perceptions, my perspectives, projections, anxieties, phobias, what I see as self-destructive patterns and my sense of failure and success. I know as time goes on I will find myself coming in conflict, or harmony with them. The challenge here I guess is to always remain open minded, to learn, to educate and reconcile. Have you learnt anything new about yourself since the retreat? I would describe the retreat as a raw confrontation. Our worlds changed in 2020 due to the pandemic and many found themselves in a similar position to myself - on my own and with no escape. The retreat really allowed me to prepare for what’s coming. It highlighted my relationships, and the fact my identity has gone through a metamorphosis. I believe that will continue to evolve, and that it’s okay to embrace that going forwards. How do you ‘Create Space’? Through my own organisation I’m always creating space for those who need it the most, I’ve made it my mission to; create an inclusive Cultural Experience, champion Creative Innovation, break down barriers by Creating Opportunities and connect communities through Cohesion and Consultation. Self-care, self-discovery and personal development will always remain a priority for me. The retreat has taught me to take time for myself, to focus on the mind and body. I found this through regular physical training and taking time for myself for reflection, sometimes a simple breathing exercise is needed, inhaling the noise of the world and exhaling in peace and stillness. @ajay_pabial ajaypabial.com/ artclubbers.com/ To stay updated about upcoming workshop and retreat dates, please subscribe to our mailing list.

Coco (from Talk to Coco) and Michael Stephens discuss the intersection of sexuality and mental health as well as the delicate process of managing major change in life. About Coco: Coco, from Talk to Coco is a non-binary, mental health activist and writer, who has created a safe space for so many people all around the world, to have someone to talk to and share their experiences, feelings and thoughts with. To be a person people can relate with, who suffers from both mental and physical disabilities. Talk to Coco, have been published in books and also, writes articles on mental health and lgbtq topics for magazines, as well as visual contributions for the BBC. Mental health and lgbtq advocacy is the key root of all her work, working with universities, dance collectives and also one-to-one - giving support, advice and mentoring; on self-acceptance, self-love and breaking all stigmas attached to mental health and not feeling alone - for all people that need it so, that they feel they have someone who listens and understands them, with no judgment, just pure love and transparency. Talk To Coco's Linktree @talktococo About Michael: Michael is a mental health and LGBTQ+ advocate. He's also the founder of WE CREATE SPACE, promoting the importance and value of self-care, specifically within the creative and LGBTQ+ communities. michaelstephens.co @michaeledwardstephens Follow WE CREATE SPACE on social: @wecreatespace.co View upcoming workshops. Join our community for free to hear when we release new workshops.

Ben Pechey and Eduardo Gutiérrez discuss creativity and risk, and how each have played a part in discovering their own unique personal purpose in life. About Ben: Ben is a non-binary writer, content creator, and LGBTQIA Activist. They aim to uplift and educate through media. They run their own website, are the host of The Happy Place podcast. Ben is a Create Space guest speaker but you can catch them delivering education and laughter daily via their legendary Instagram Stories. benpechey.com @benpechey Ben's Podcast - The Happy Place About Eduardo: Eduardo is an Oxford graduate from Colombia with a passion for philosophy and peace-building. He joined the Create Space team in 2020 after attending the 'Who am I?' virtual retreat, and now facilitates our 'What's My Purpose?' workshop. @eduardofgg Follow WE CREATE SPACE on social: @wecreatespace.co View upcoming workshops. Join our community for free to hear when we release new workshops.

Eduardo is an Oxford graduate from Colombia with a passion for philosophy and peace-building. He recently joined one of our 'Who am i?' virtual retreats for gay and bisexual men, and has kindly agreed to share his experience. Who are you? Well, my name is Eduardo Gutiérrez. Professionally speaking, I have a BA and an MA in philosophy, both from Colombia. And I have just finished a year-long MSt in Science & Religion at the University of Oxford (UK). I'm hoping to continue with doctoral studies along the same lines. I'm super interested in using imagination as a powerful tool to overcome false mental oppositions and to create new dialogues. I consider myself an empathic, curious, reflexive, and fast learning person. How did you find yourself doing what you are doing? Luckily I've been able to connect my personal journey and my spiritual inquiries to my academic work. At one point, I was managing several aspects of my life as independent silos, I felt deeply unsatisfied by the rigid and closed views I had on the world. Both my experience and my study of philosophy made me realise I needed to go through a period of intense auto-reformation. I have been working on that for the past two or three years: and here I am! What have you learnt along the way? I´ve learned that it is very easy to antagonise, but it´s much more demanding to harmonise. I think we have a strong tendency to see our lives in specific ways, and sometimes the habit is too strong and does not allow us to consider other options. The key, I believe, is a balance between what you know and what you do not; to maintain the views that have guided you through your life, but also be mindful that life itself might eventually suggest a change of course. Why did you get involved in the ‘Who am i?’ Programme? I actually found the programme by accident, scrolling down my Instagram feed. I first participated in one of the teaser-workshops and then on the two day retreat. I loved it. The idea of offering an open platform for gay or bi men to open up, discuss their own life experiences and share their views regarding identity and sexuality sounded like a valuable contribution to the LGBTQ+ world! What relationship do you have to the LGBTQ+ community? I only recently came out as bisexual, so I believe I am still in exploratory mode. Although there are still lots of things I need to understand, the key point is that I've found myself surrounded by amazing people. Everyone has gone through something in order to find themselves, and build a space in society where they feel safe and secure. I completely identify with that struggle, and I think part of what drives me to participate in these workshops is my wish to learn more from other people's experiences. What’s the biggest challenge you’re currently working through? I think deep down, my fundamental challenge is to tear down walls and bridge different aspects of my life! Primarily the gap between my academic discussions and socio-political initiatives, but also between my bisexuality and my Catholic faith. I guess my desire to contribute to peace building processes in Colombia is also about bridging dialogues and fostering reconciliation. Have you learnt anything new about yourself since the retreat? I have found that there's a lot to learn from fellow LGBTQ+ people; that I need to work through my own childhood traumas and certain ideas I received about love; that it is totally worth it to share and connect with others’ emotions; and that re-connecting with my body, especially through practices like breathwork and meditation, can be a powerful way to unlock important information I need to grow more peacefully. How do you ‘Create Space’? I of course try to keep healthy habits in terms of eating, sleeping and exercising etc. In addition to that, I make an effort to pray and/or meditate at least three or four times a week; this keeps me centred and focused, and strengthens my connection to myself. I find that writing down what I think and feel is extremely useful when my emotions and ideas are a bit entangled. Reading literature is an important way for me to allow my imagination to roam freely, and this helps me to avoid single-minded views and be open to new possibilities. And finally, engaging dialogue with others (preferably over coffee) – this is also a fundamental part of my self-care. If you're interested in joining the 'Who am i?' programme, you can find out more here.

Matthew Shaw is a BBC News Editor and founder of Fundamental, a new mental health initiative led by gay and bisexual men. He recently joined one of our 'Who am i?' virtual retreats, and has kindly agreed to share his experience. Who are you? My name is Matthew Shaw, and I am a BBC News Editor as well as the founder of Fundamental - a new mental health initiative led by gay and bisexual men. How did you find yourself doing what you are doing? I've worked at BBC News for 25 years and recognise now that remaining mentally healthy is something I must always work on. I had a period of depression in 2014 which knocked me for six - but with support from work, love from family and friends and a willingness to get better I got through it. This encouraged me to make the BBC even better for those of us who need help - and led me to a fellowship at the University of Michigan and serving on the government’s mental health in the workplace advisory committee. Now I’ve set up Fundamental - as I have found so many gay and bisexual men who are passionate about mental health. What have you learnt along the way? I have learned that getting men to talk about their mental health is hard. I truly think looking after your mind should be as acceptable, fun and inspirational as looking after your body or home. Fundamental is about the enjoyment of improving your mental health - we shouldn’t trivialise mental illness but we should make improving ourselves interesting, social and sometimes a laugh! Why did you get involved in the ‘Who am i?’ programme? As a 48 year old gay man who has seen a lot (been around the block is unfair) I celebrate that my journey has been relatively trouble free. But I know that despite our experience being a huge common denominator - gay men rarely talk together in groups beyond their immediate friends about what really matters to us. It’s not just a matter of safety in numbers - it’s both strengthening and revelatory to meet with people of different backgrounds who essentially share one hugely important factor in life. Did you make any changes off the back of the retreat? When I went to Michigan 5 years ago - my friends told me never to say no to an invitation or offer of friendship. To start again and free myself from any judgement or inhibition. The retreat reminded me of this so much - and inspired me to reach out to more men like me. It basically kickstarted Fundamental. What relationship do you have to the LGBTQ+ community? I have worked in media all my life surrounded by LGBTQ+ people - that’s been very fortunate. But I wouldn’t say I’m an active member of the community apart from being proud of my sexuality in the work I do. I want Fundamental to be a different approach to LGBTQ+ diversity - usually we are the add-ons to prove something is diverse. Fundamental puts us at the centre and invites allies from outside the community to prove we are for everyone. What’s the biggest challenge you’re working through? Surviving 2020 with a smile on my face. Living on my own has been a challenge - but I’ve worked so hard at spoiling myself, talking to friends and family, making home a haven and doing as much as I can to improve the lives of others. I appreciate I sound like a Miss World contestant. Have you learnt anything new about yourself since the retreat? That you can still grow from meeting new people. How do you ‘Create Space’? Time to breathe, time to enjoy simple stuff and time to give myself a pat on the back. @matthewshaw1 @fundamentalhealthuk fundamentalhealthuk.com To stay updated about upcoming 'Who am i?' retreat dates, please subscribe to our mailing list via our website.

When my job is my passion, how do I find work life balance? When your job is also your creative passion it's sometimes hard to find that work life balance. Especially if you are self-employed, free-lance, or own your own business. Our personal and professional lives often blend into one and switching off from work can feel like a distant dream. But why is it so important to find that balance? As ambitious, career-focused individuals, we're always trying to squeeze as much as possible into an already jam-packed schedule. Whether its a few emails before bed, a quick meeting over lunch, or pop into another friends birthday party at the weekend. Society has conditioned us to believe that it's good to be busy. Not just that, but we have started to rationalise our 'busyness' with 'being productive'. But are we? One of the effects of living a decent portion our social lives digitally through social media is that we’re often fixated on end results. The complete look, the finished piece, the climactic scene... We've normalised the image of 'perfection' and consider anything less than that incomplete and even unworthy of our attention. We easily dissociate the work, time and energy that goes into ‘creating’. The same can sometimes be said for how we view our own personal development, and the impatience we have when striving to look or feel a certain way. As we attempt to navigate our way through this fast-paced and ever-evolving world, we are responsible for managing our own resources and commitments - both personal and professional. Where we get our energy from, and how we use it. It’s not uncommon for our mental health and physical health needs to sometimes get put on hold. However, the repercussions can be dangerous, with occupational burnout already reaching epidemic levels in several countries. With our personal energy fuel tank starting to empty, some of our most precious attributes also begin to fade, such as our creativity, intuition and positive energy. These are the very things that make us unique, valuable and brilliant at our jobs. Many people are now asking themselves 'how do I find work life balance?'. Recognising the significance of a balanced personal and professional life is the first step. The next is actively exploring new ways to slow down, prevent exhaustion, and build resilience. In a series entitled ‘Create Space, Repeat’, we’re asking established individuals who work in creative fields about the importance of their ongoing self-care routine. In a fast-paced and competitive landscape where speed is everything, we’re hoping to highlight the significance of slowing everything down and consistently 'Creating Space' for yourself. Taking a break to reset shouldn’t be seen as a hindrance, but an opportunity to come back with more energy, enthusiasm and new creative ideas. Serena Guen, Suitcase Magazine. What do you CREATE and why? I founded Suitcase in 2012, while studying at NYU as I identified a gap in the market for an authentic, well-curated travel platform. We aim to make it easier for people to travel further and deeper through our content and hopefully soon by helping our readers build those experiences IRL. How do you find SPACE? My routine incorporates pilates in the morning and reading before bed. In my free time I’ll spend weekends away when I can, and always find the time for friends and family after work or on weekends. I also like to spend a lot of time in nature! When and where do you RETREAT? I actually go to the Maldives at the end of every year. I’m very spoiled I know!!! The highlands and Tuscany are also a couple of my favourite places that I go back to often. @serenaguen @suitcase suitcasemag.com Pepä Ivanoff, Artist. What do you CREATE and why? I'm a muralist, surfer, equestrian and traveler, and I have made my art my life. I create because it sparks joy in me, and in those around me. I love to create beautiful spaces in collaboration with beautiful people in beautiful locations. I've been fortunate enough to create in California, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Nicaragua and Peru. How do you find SPACE? My mornings are sacred and my rituals inspire my day. If there are waves, I start my day in the ocean surfing. On land, I read a daily passage from my book on Taoism, write in my journal, meditate and pull tarot cards. I trust my intuition and pay special attention to energy, in all of its forms. I feel fortunate that my work as an artist serves as a form of meditation and a creative outlet. When and where do you RETREAT? I have a reverence for nature and solitude, therefore I often retreat into the ocean or on horseback. I almost always travel somewhere warm and tropical, as this type of climate and the nature that it produces both inspires and relaxes me. @pepallama Patrick Wilson, Hair Stylist. What do you CREATE and why? I’m a session stylist, originally from Liverpool, but moved to London for my career. Like most hairdressers, I started out in a salon. I then moved on to work backstage at fashion weeks before finally deciding to pursue a full-time career in session hair. Everyday is totally different now; I could be working on set or getting a celebrity ready for an appearance or red carpet. I really love the fact that I’m not in the same salon space day-in day-out - I find it exciting! How do you find SPACE? I like to work out, ideally 4 times a week. But it’s not always possible with early call times and late finishes. As a hairstylist it’s really important to look after my back. Often I have to carry a big kit-bag around, lifting it up flights of stairs etc. So I like to visit Masaj in London for regular massages. Sometimes I can get a little bit overwhelmed with deadlines and everything happening at once. Things can come up really last minute with work so It’s quite hard to plan. But my partner Liam is a big help with organisation, admin and just generally being a big support! When and where do you RETREAT? My happy place has to be Mykonos, we really love it. I guess to feel totally comfortable and not feel judged on your sexuality. The food is great, you can chill in the day and if you want to go out you can. Most people think of Mykonos as a party island, but honestly it’s the most peaceful place. @patrickwilson Georgie Mason, Artist. What do you CREATE and why? I paint abstract scenes that are based on memory and intuition. I use a variety of media; from oil paint and pigments to sand, mud, sawdust and other found materials.  Every painting tells a story - an amalgamation of moments, emotions, energy and materials that went into its making. I value the art making process for its therapeutic benefits just as much as aesthetic output. I do this work because of its capacity for self-exploration. How do you find SPACE? Self-care is my top priority, above everything else. Without good mental health every other area suffers. I do yoga daily, meditate at the Buddhist Centre or just in my room most days, I practise gratitude and journal every day, I dance Forro (a Brazilian dance that makes me feel amazing), I have psychotherapy; the list goes on. I'm also incredibly grateful to have a network of close friends and family who I can talk to about anything. I try to keep a 'beginner's mind' attitude towards life, where rather than exist within a world view determined by habitual thoughts, I lower my expectations and get curious about things in order to keep a fresh perspective. (It's a work in progress!) When and where do you RETREAT? For me traveling is like pressing reset. I try and go away every winter and when I do, I am reminded that anxiety and stress isn't the natural human state. Without the pressure from ourselves and society, we are actually innately content, at peace, in harmony with the world. This brief glimpse of the truth gives me enough to get through the rest of the working year (I haven't managed a trip this year yet but hoping to get away at some point). Aside from leaving the country, my retreat is my meditation den in my room: it's a load of cushions, candles, plants and books piled up on my bay window seat and I love it there. Being up on a high ledge makes me feel elevated and separate from normal life. I can switch off and tune into my body and it's blissful. @georgiesmason @georgiesartclasses georgiemason.co.uk Aleksandra Kingo, Photographer. What do you CREATE and why? I create colourful surreal worlds, in which lipstick stains are a blessing and champagne baths are perfectly casual. I am a photographer and director working in fashion and advertising. I also have also created a new human not that long ago! How do you find SPACE? Being a creative, a mother of a 4 year old and an overachiever, it’s hard! Sometimes I simply stop everything, lie down and breathe slowly when I get too overwhelmed. Learning to stay in the moment and enjoying one thing at the time is key. When and where do you RETREAT? I try to travel and see the world as much as I can, being in a new environment and learning new things is the ultimate retreat for me. But sometimes simple moments like morning toddler cuddles are the most valuable. @aleksandrakingo @aleksandrakingodiary aleksandrakingo.com Damian Garozzo, Makeup Artist. What do you CREATE and why? I’m an Australian Makeup Artist based in Paris, working in beauty advertising and red carpet, as well as consulting, education and public speaking for beauty brands. The best part of this job is the fact that every day I get to collaborate with a different team, often from different corners of the globe. In an effort to pursue new challenges, I’m also currently working with some very talented colleagues on a documentary series drawing attention to the struggles of LGBT+ youth displaced from their homes. No two work days are the same, and I wouldn’t change it for the world! How do you find SPACE?: Finding and creating space for myself is something that I have to consciously work really hard at, because I’m a bit of a workaholic! If I’m not meditating, which I try and do as often as possible, then I’m cooking. When and where do you RETREAT? I’m lucky in that I married someone with the same travel style as me: « fare niente! » I tend to seek out places where we can be completely secluded and self contained, nothing fancy, but somewhere we can be by the ocean or high up in the mountains, sunset views a bonus. We cook, hike, read, meditate and try our best to disconnect (while also doing our best to turn off our phones!). I always need a few weeks out of the year not to think about lipstick and mascara, dig my feet in the sand and put the world on pause for a while! @damiangarozzomakeup damiangarozzo.com Eva Ramirez, Travel Journalist What do you CREATE and why? Born in Gran Canaria to a Spanish mother and Lebanese father, I moved from Sierra Leone to London when I was 3 years old. I started out in the fashion industry after obtaining a BA (Hons) Journalism degree, holding positions with Alexander McQueen, The British Fashion Council and WGSN. I now work for myself as a freelance travel and lifestyle writer. I balance this with brand work, creating content and consulting on social media for food and wellness companies. I'm also on the advisory board for a nonprofit which fuses yoga, travel and philanthropy to empower young women through education. How do you find SPACE? Self-care to me is knowing when to tune in and listen to my needs, whether they are emotional, physical or mental. It's not always bubble baths and massages - sometimes self-care is cancelling plans when I know I need rest, checking in with my priorities when I know I am procrastinating, or making time to ensure my flat is clean and tidy. I find comfort in friends and family who I am very open with, and I journal a lot too. Movement, whether it's gentle yoga or exercise helps me too. Stepping out of a situation and focussing my attention on something totally different always helps me find a new perspective. When and where do you RETREAT? As a travel writer I often don't choose where I travel to, and sometimes there is no time for relaxation as I am always thinking and working. That being said I've been on some incredible retreats - digital detoxes in Arizona, plant-based hiking in The Pyrenees, luxury wellness in Marbella. But really, it's a back-to-basics approach I love best. I'm most content in my grandmother's home in the Canary Islands, surrounded by family, friends and home-cooked food. @evieramirez evaramirez.co.uk Egle Plytnikaite, Illustrator. What do you CREATE and why? I create minimal, colourful and conceptually driven illustrations, often utilising subtle textures that give my work a vintage warmth. I use my illustrations as a tool to talk about various difficult subjects like feminism, environmental problems and so on and see it as a great medium to reach a wide audience. How do you find SPACE? Every single weekend I do my best to leave my beloved city Vilnius and disconnect from everything at our little cob house into the woods. I spend hours walking in the forest and lying in the bath which helps me to find peace and clear my thoughts. When and where do you RETREAT? I love active retreats and my favourite way to restart my system is to challenge my body. I love hiking and rock climbing so every year together with my husband we pack our backpacks and get out from our comfort zone while hiking in Andean or Himalayan mountains. @egle.plytnikaite egle.plytnikaite.com Laird Kay, Photographer. What do you CREATE and why? I’m an aviation photographer – and I love planes. I see planes as giant sculptures – with beautiful lines, sleek curves, and machines that embody the wonderment of travel. To me, they are magical machines that bring people closer together, and allow us to experience the cultures of the world. How do you find SPACE? I’m self employed, so I’m lucky that I take gigs that I want. While it means that I’m my own boss (a stress in itself), it also means that I can take time when I need it. To keep myself fresh and creative, I give myself monthly goals to push myself to constantly evolve and improve my skills. When and where do you RETREAT? I love open spaces to re-energise and think. The most magical and calming place I’ve been is the Atacama Desert in Chile – the driest place on earth! The landscapes are other worldly – areas that look like the moon, then giant white salt flats filled with flamingos, and volcanic lakes that like mirrors. And because of its incredibly high altitude, it’s a landscape that truly slows you down. @lairdkay lairdkay.com A big thank you to all those who contributed to this piece. Why not take a look at the upcoming workshops we have available to join? #LGBTQIA+ #LGBTWellbeing #SelfCare #Wellness #LGBTCommunity #Resilience #Reset #CreativeRefresh #PersonalGrowth #Retreat #CreativeEntrepreneur #ReclaimYourCreativity #CreatingSpace #Healthymind #Mentalwellbeing

Lo Lo No is an artist and ex-fashion designer based in the seaside town of Margate, UK. They recently joined one of the Create Space 'Who am i?' virtual retreats, and has kindly agreed to share their story and experience. Who are you? My name is Lo Lo, I’m a multi disciplinary artist and my work now looks at identity and existence. Predominantly focused on the oppressed gendered feminine in the male and the experience of gender as a Hetrotopia. I often use myself as my subject and have found my art practice as an intrinsic part of my own investigation and restoration into self after a life time of challenges with my cognitive behaviours, my gender identity and destructive behaviours and addictions related to these challenges. I grew up in London and had a career in the fashion industry and loved living in East London until the culture there wasn’t benefiting me anymore and I was very unhappy and stuck in old habits. I know live by the sea in Margate with my pets and I am half way through a Masters in fine art. How did you find yourself doing what you are doing? I had to go through a period of being really lost. A few years ago I knew that change had to happen. I'd moved from London to Margate and was still doing some work with pop stars, but that work had no real meaning to me anymore. I had to completely stop and sit with not knowing. It was amazingly hard as I'd always had a plan and a vision. I actually debated retraining as a councillor to bring my holistic practices closer to my professional life. But in the end, through my yoga practice I was reminded that I'm an artist, a visual communicator and a thinker, interested in culture and have a history in activism. It took a while, but things started to fall into place and the MA opportunity appeared. Now I'm a student again and bolstering my practice and my knowledge. My aim is to simply gain a better understanding of myself and create work and is progressive for society and culture. What have you learnt along the way? I've learnt that you never stop learning. It's an ongoing process of looking, asking, being vulnerable, being open, accepting, forgiving and shaking it all off. If it’s painful, then it needs to be processed, otherwise it will just keep coming back. We are stronger understanding all aspects of ourself. I know now that no one is going to do this for me but good friends will be there to help and support me; and I've also learnt that sometimes I am the problem and not others. Changing the behaviours that we project onto other people is a great burden to lift. How was your experience of the ‘Who am i?’ Programme? I felt very lucky to be invited to take part. The weekend retreat was really insightful and reassuring to find this common ground between a group of queers who were all strangers. Did you make any changes off the back of the ‘work’ you did? I certainly gained some new insight and information. I was also able to vocalise an issue that I'd always had. That ‘masculinity’ and being ‘male’ is a big trigger for me. So many times through my life, experiences related to this have been traumatic, caused triggers and now exist as complexes. So I've been trying to heal that through my study and practice. What relationship do you have to the LGBTQ+ community? Now it's very local and positive as I curate exhibitions of queer artists. My goal is to represent artists with other voices, outside of stereotypes who are less seen but are the heterogeneous of the community. I'm also one of the organisers of Margate Pride Festival and hadn’t really felt connected to Pride until being in a smaller community where visibility and inclusion are so important. The focus is creating bonds between the LGBTQ people and the town. What are you currently working through? Probably my gender identity and specifically how to publicly identify - my pronouns etc. I am working on understanding myself as a trans person who is living as male and AMAB (does that void my trans identity?) but has experienced different genders in their life. Questioning gender structures and a child’s experience of gender. Then how I relate to other men sexually and romantically, exploring the fetishisation of masculinity. How do you ‘Create Space’? I now know that I need time to recharge my batteries. That means down time, the right amount of sleep, healthy food and exercise. I don’t push myself if I'm not in the mood. I love seeing friends and socialising when I’m at high energy but that actually doesn’t happen that often, and thats ok. I spend a lot of time walking the dog, swimming in the sea, meditating at home and making work. They all help balance the way I approach this mentally. @lo_lo_no_ If you're interested in joining the 'Who am i?' programme, you can find out more here.

Daniel Pillai, the Canadian TV host and personality, is helping us Create Space for self-exploration, self-acceptance and self-care within the queer community. Daniel Pillai is the wonderfully exuberant writer, producer and media host based out of Toronto, Canada. He's also an openly gay man of south asian heritage who has what I'd describe as a very healthy obsession with the colour pink. As a boy he was bullied growing up for being flamboyant and effeminate. Today, it is refreshing and uplifting to witness how comfortable he clearly feels owning all aspects of his personality and multiple identities. Whether it be through his own social media channels or on mainstream television as a host, Daniel is always using his platform to uplift others. He doesn't shy away from "telling it how it is" and sharing his unique story of navigating the trials and triumphs as a gay man. We're elated to have Daniel join the Create Space team as a guest speaker on the 'Who am i?' Programme exploring identity as a gay man. I caught up with him over zoom a couple of weeks ago and had the pleasure of listening to him talk about his life, his career and his journey so far. Daniel grew up in Canada surrounded by a very large family and lots of strong women, including his mother, the youngest of 14 children - 9 of which were sisters. Daniel admits,"Women have been very prominent in my life. It was around women that I felt the most acceptance. I didn't feel like an outsider." Yet he acknowledges that it was still a very conservative family - half Christian and half Hindu - which contributed to a certain shyness and 'closing up' as a child struggling to come to terms with his sexuality. "If I am honest, I didn't allow myself to come out. I didn't ask myself the questions, or allow myself to have experiences. In some respects it didn't just feel as though I'd be disappointing my family. It felt as though I'd be disappointing an entire village!" It wasn't until he went to university that he truly came into his own. He also came out to his family and was shocked by some of the positive reactions he got. In particular from his Grandma, whom he told when she was in her 70s. "She had such a beautiful reaction. She was able to have a very loving conversation with me and accept me as I was." This experience has clearly influenced the way that Daniel approaches family life now. "Education and talking are key when it comes to navigating conflicting values and traditions. If there is an ear, there is an opportunity for a conversation." Speaking about his early early days as a gay man, Daniel recounts that he has never quite fitted into a pre-defined box within the LBTQ+ community. "I was always heavier set physically. I didn't fit into the norm in terms of what was considered attractive. I also was often one of very few people of colour 'on the scene'. So I found it a little bit uncomfortable at times. But I was lucky enough to meet some of my best friends, whom I still have today. For me it was almost like working backwards. I resonated with people, as opposed to a community. But by connecting with people, I found a sense of community." One thing Daniel admits that he is still working on is patience. But he recognises the power it holds. “Time can fix a lot of things. We are all evolving constantly. Accepting my sexuality, and all the other parts of what make me unique came from radical acts of self-love. From learning that I have the power and ability to be who I am despite the conditioning of my ethnic background, my religion, my society and my family." Daniel understands fully the importance of sharing, supporting and guiding others struggling with their identities and sexualities, which is why he is so excited about joining the Create Space team for the month of September as our guest speaker. "If I can encourage someone to love themselves and believe they are worth it, that small feeling can lead to something greater later on. And that’s pretty amazing!” Daniel will be joining the Create Space 'Who am I?' team for the month of September as our guest speaker. With places limited to fourteen participants on each monthly ‘virtual retreat’, it is a very intimate and confidential space. The programme offers the unique opportunity for participants to openly share and learn from each other’s' past experiences without judgement, building resilience together in the face of their collective adversity. You can follow Daniel here: danielpillai.com YouTube Facebook Twitter Instagram

This lgbtq+ wellbeing workshop equips participants with new tools for self-empowerment and growth; challenging self-imposed narratives and bringing more awareness to the impact that our stories can have on deciding our own future. The power of story telling. Stories have a profound impact on us as human beings. They influence our mind, body and emotions. Our stories become our own personal maps as we navigate our way through life: acting as fundamental guides for how we relate, communicate with and understand one another and the world we live in - especially in this digital age. What stories have you been telling yourself recently? For some of us, sharing our 'story’ is integrated into everyday life. Perhaps even part of our job. And thanks to social media we can share at any time. Every single day we are presented with so many possible routes of disclosure - about our past, present and future. 2020 has been a challenging year for many, and it's certainly not over. But the content we now choose to project may well be what decides our future, and guides us towards our new goals. "You can't use an old map to explore a new world." - Albert Einstein Entering a new world, but still telling the same old story? It's human nature to find ourselves telling the stories we're simply used to telling. Even the stories we perhaps think the other person wants to hear. The stories we feel comfortable telling. Or the stories we feel we need to tell in order to be heard. But each and every time we present ourselves to the world we have the unique opportunity to reflect and question the validity of the information we are putting out there. If we don't challenge ourselves and question the familiar, then we run the risk of becoming our own personal narrative. It's so easy to get stuck and even develop self-limiting beliefs through the habitual and recurring story lines we tell ourselves. Are your stories empowering you or holding you back? Is it time to reset your narrative? What you could now ask yourself: Is this narrative depicting the most accurate, up-to-date and authentic version of myself? What impact are my stories having? (On myself, other people and society) What are my intentions and motivations? Have they shifted? What story could I be telling instead? Discover what's possible. By picking holes in our own narrative we are able to learn, grow and move forward. By listening to the voice of the unknown, exploring the possibilities, we can spot exciting new opportunities and bring about positive change in our own lives, and in the lives of others. About the workshop. This digital workshop series is inspired by John Paul Lederach’s theory of the Moral Imagination. We present the importance of imagination as a tool when questioning your own story. You will be invited to take part in various creative and interactive workshops to help you focus on the possibilities. Being able to envision yourself and others in different ways is a fundamental practice for self-reflection, conflict resolution and personal growth. During our three hour 'What's My Purpose?' workshop you will: Hear the inspiring stories of others who have shifted their personal narrative Recalibrate your perspective with examples of what’s possible in your life Challenge your assumptions about what’s limiting your capacity Explore why your mindset is key, and how entrenched beliefs can be transformed Key themes we'll use to explore, reflect and reset: 1. Relationships 2. Curiosity 3. Creativity 4. Risks Key self-care tools: We'll be incorporating tried and tested psychological and holistic practices such as journaling, group sharing, self-enquiry, breathwork and meditation. These will be interspersed with key teachings and developmental coaching practices. About the team. We personally design, organise and facilitate each of our retreats and workshops; partnering internationally with leading industry professionals in each sector. Throughout the duration of the retreat, you’ll work in close collaboration with each of the team members in respect of their given workshop. What do we offer? We are offering a safe yet playful space for you to get curious, open up and discuss with others, aspects of your life that you're finding challenging or want to improve. This is not group therapy. Instead, it is an opportunity to access wider teachings and peer support. We understand that some participants may be at different stages on their personal development journey. As a result, the event programme has been shaped to support newbies to kick start the self-exploration process, and to provide new tools and perspectives for more skilled participants to integrate in their road map. Please note - this is an LGBTQ+ workshop. This workshop is for those individuals who identify as part of the lgbtq+ community. Please respect this as it creates a safe space for all to share. Our partners. We are proud to partner with myGwork to deliver this wellbeing and self-empowerment workshop. myGwork is the business community for LGBT+ professionals, graduates, inclusive employers and anyone who believes in workplace equality. Follow us on Instagram to find out more or hear when new dates are released: @wecreatespace.co

Michael Edward Stephens is the Founder of We Create Space, and the organiser behind the LGBTQ+ leadership programme, 'Who am i?'. Hi, my name's Michael. I’m the founder of We Create Space, and the organiser behind the 'Who am i?' leadership programme for the LGBTQ+ community. I struggled for many years accepting my own sexuality. After coming out over 10 years ago, I’ve since battled with mental and physical health challenges, and worked through periods of complete exhaustion. I'm so thankful that I was eventually able to address these issues, and make some important changes in my life. ‘Who am I?’ was one of the key questions I found myself asking after I burnt out. I had decided to take some time off to rest, recover and reset. I didn’t have a job, so I wasn't earning any money, and couldn’t afford to stay in London.  Taking away the money, the status and the recognition, it soon became clear that I didn’t really feel confident knowing WHO I was without these ‘things’ that validated me and gave me a sense of belonging, and identity. The things that I thought were going to make me feel content and satisfied, in fact left me feeling a bit empty when they got taken away. I realised that I knew exactly who I’d wanted everyone to think I was – but being that person had become all-consuming and tough to maintain. I felt less of a human-being, and more of a human-doing. It was clear that in order for me to start living from a place of authenticity, I needed to start processing my past and understand how it was showing up in my present. Something I had started doing several years before but conveniently swept back under the carpet, because it didn’t align with my ambitious career plans.  Well, guess what - your past has a funny way of showing up over and over again. Over the last 5 years I have tried A LOT of different things. From therapy, to group work, to psychedelics, coaching, holistic practices, retreats, books, webinars… I’ve spent a lot of time, energy and cash to try and fix my 'problems'. And actually what I’ve found, is some of the simplest techniques are the most powerful.  I wanted to find a way for others to start a similar journey of, let’s call it, ‘discovery'. Because I’m so grateful that I am able to share my own story like I do now. I’ve said it before, I’m doing it for those who don’t yet feel able to share their own story yet. And I do it in the hope of educating, inspiring or empowering just one more person. I believe it’s so important that we create safe spaces to openly share and learn from each other's past experiences. To encourage one another and to develop resilience together in the face of our adversity. So the ‘Who am I?’ programme, is essentially a product of my own personal experiences - what techniques I found relevant, useful and transformational. But it’s not just that, it’s the product of each and every team member’s experience too, and all the many years of teachings they bring with them.  This virtual retreat offers a unique blend of complementary bespoke workshops, all carefully designed around tried and tested psychological and holistic practices, which take participants on a guided process of self-exploration. These include compassionate self-inquiry, sharing in groups, breathwork, creative workshops, and other techniques to elicit a deeper connection and understanding.  Preparation and integration are really important when doing this self-discovery work, so we provide pre-retreat workbooks, homework, and some further learning resources, all thoughtfully curated to maximise your experience with us. And enable you to continue with your process beyond the two days you spend with us.  No one will be forced to share anything they don’t want to, or anything at all if they don’t feel comfortable. But sharing has a proven benefit to processing experiences and emotions. These sessions are intended to allow participants to learn from each other. There’s usually around 14 participants on each retreat. Throughout the duration of the retreat, you’ll work in close collaboration with each of the team members, in respect of their given workshop.  A couple of the workshops you may never have tried before. Such as guided meditation, mindful movement, creative visualisation, and consciously connected breathing. They are all used to reveal emotional blind spots and strengthen the mind’s ability to remain centred and calm. This allows us to go into deeper modes of personal enquiry and development. As I said, this is a lifetimes amount of work that we are trying to squeeze into 2 days. It’ important you make the most of it. It’s not always comfortable work, but it can offer you fresh perspectives and provide motivation to make important changes in your life. It’s important to state that we are not a rehabilitation or intervention retreat. Nor are we providing one-on-one medical or psychological advice. We are certainly not providing a ‘cure’, and this isn’t a therapy session. We are however offering a safe space to discuss with others, aspects of your life you’re finding challenging. This isn’t bootcamp, but it also isn’t easy work. To get the most out of it is going to require effort, commitment and an open attitude.  We won’t be telling you to do anything such as quit your job or leave your partner. We're purely laying out some alternative routes of investigation. The actions you take and the changes you make will be your own choice. This retreat has very much a forward facing approach in terms of possible end goals and objectives. You’ll find it particularly useful if you're preparing for change or a transition. Needing to take some time to debate ‘what next?’. Or understand better your actions, thoughts and beliefs before making a start on a plan of action. Use the safe space to discuss and get curious. To find out even more about the team and the workshop modules just get in touch and I’d be happy to help.  Looking forward to welcoming you soon. Michael and the Create Space team x michaelstephens.co @michaeledwardstephens Want to find out more? Click here or email hello@wecreatespace.co #LGBTQIA+ #LGBTWellbeing #SelfCare #Wellness #LGBTCommunity #Resilience #Reset #CreativeRefresh #PersonalGrowth #Retreat #CreativeEntrepreneur #ReclaimYourCreativity #CreatingSpace #Healthymind #Mentalwellbeing